Jacquie Prebich

Birthday Song

 

danced out of my mother’s womb

naked cold

cocooned in the afterbirth of art

cord snip cut

cries mute to scream

soul activated

oh, how the harsh light hurts

 

this was the house I was assigned to

rogue

the odd child with tangled hair

pretty brainy bright

wild beats rap in her head

hated hating the light

 

alone always alone

 

dazed days

pained

long fuzzy dream

rebellious teen

the girl forever dancing

 

dizzy metamorphosis

 

turned on pointe… a woman

intriguing

the mad maddening lover

an awakening

another do over

a new religion

 

oh, sweet hallelujahs and a poet amen

 

a reluctant mother

existing

resisting

a defier of death

the rebel writer

a life well written

unfinished

 

yet with a yearning to return

 

the final performance

a swan song

unchained

to thundering applause

the grand finale

 

danced back into my mother’s womb

 

---

 

Bitch

 

this bitch has left the building

rehabbed

bare feet— lips painted bloodmoon red,

soul afire

exhilarated, eager and excited

dangerously inspired

 

gonna leave it all behind

the earthly everythings and humdrum nothings

 

packed my paper and pen

a few joints,

a bottle of borrowed whiskey

and a stolen witch’s soul

 

plan to write about life and death,

yours and mine

and all the beautiful lunacy— trapped

between time,

 

gonna light some candles

throw a seance—

get naked,

invite your sexy, dead poets

dance with their ghosts

 

gonna play with love and

lust again,

seduce all your princes—

kiss your pretty princesses awake

 

plan to break your heart,

make you my art

peel off tired blue bandages—

play a new part

 

gonna punch out pain

laugh at shame

make some mad music

conjure up fame

curse all the haters,

change up the game—

 

gonna finally get me a name

 

---

 

Anonymous

 

rise with poetry—

shrouded in naked verse,

those sweet sensual sounds

improper nouns

 

dance with them,

the unknown writers, hidden in the dark

secret perfumed poets,

versed

penned and pained for the part

 

those fierce female sisters

who lived too hard, loved too much

damned—

shamed and unfamed

 

the beautiful women, who died

for art—

the forbidden ones,

who died with no name

 

---

 

I danced out of my mother’s womb, into a flawed house that fate assigned me. An accident, an only child, I was raised in a noisy, bright city with insomnia. Always strange…I never fit in…never wanted to.

My dad taught me to think critically, to never follow, to lead, to embrace life, the arts, to delight in being different.

I recently discovered he had Asperger’s…I think I do too.

Bisexual…I believe everyone is born queer, unless proven otherwise.

Like many artists, I suffer from anxiety and depression.

After years of self-medicating, I underwent rehab. Therapy helped me to dance with my madness, a day-to-day struggle.

Still…I carried on. I waltzed, I wrote, and directed ballet theatre plays.

It was art that saved me. Poetry, music, and film resurrected me.

And you, my beautiful tribal sisters, have liberated me.

Thank you to MITA for finding us, for connecting us, for allowing us to speak up, and to reach out to others. Here, where we can dance.

Jacquie Prebich was raised in New York City and currently resides in Los Angeles. She started ballet at age five and danced until her first pregnancy. Jacquie loves writing, producing, and directing. She created Ballet Theatre in 2006, a new performance concept combining classical ballet with acting, singing, and live music. Jacquie began writing poetry after undergoing rehab for prescription pain pills— an addiction that developed as a result from dance injuries. Jacquie lives in a scenic canyon with her family and rescue animals. She is currently working with two other women writers on her first poetry book.