Nicole Higginbotham-Hogue

The Secret in Her Eyes

Her eyes look a long while at mine

Tension building

As she fails to disclose the secrets behind them

A friend for years

Or possibly merely an acquaintance

I wouldn’t know

As time and closeness mean different things

To different people

I smile warmly

Wanting her to reveal

What it is

That’s troubling her kind eyes

A tornado of emotion

Runs through her

Like two freight trains

Headed for collision

And it takes a bit of patience

To stick with my decision

To wait and let her disclose her words

I don’t talk

So that she can be heard

And I wonder

As we stand quietly in the silence

If the conversation will commence

Or if we will leave with words unspoken

And a broken conversation

But as I turn to slowly walk away

She asks me to stay

I stand firm

Listening to her words

Her confession of attraction

Clearly a burden due to the feared reception

I acknowledge her words

And disclose my mirrored emotion

Stifling the commotion in her eyes

And as the tension dissipates

And conversation continues

I wonder how she couldn’t have seen how I felt

By looking in my eyes

---

More Importantly 

 

Fast-paced

I pace

No trace

Or mind

For the time

I leave behind

Because of this deadline of mine

The structured encouragement

Of societal norm

The only form

Of pressure

Trying to censure

The more important things

Like family ties

And memories

Only to bring

The one thing

That everyone seems to think they need

Money

And so pressured and stressed

I take a step

Inside the building

To change the day

Or my situation

Only to find

I’m leaving behind

My life with no hesitation

---

Five Seconds 

 

It took five seconds

To make the choice

And voice the reason

As to why I should go through those doors

And as I did my heart fell sick

As I saw you in that bed

And my eyes met yours

And I could feel a tear tremble

Beneath my lids

Hardly able to stable

The instant whim

To let my emotions take over

But I stood strong

Knowing that it had been a long bit of time

Since I had seen you

And how sudden life had changed

Since we last exchanged words

And though I didn’t say much

I took it as a given

That I’d see you again

Leaving you to mend

And I walked out the door

And drove to my house

Thinking everything was fine

And not thinking of what I left behind

Until the ring of a call

Stole my attention

And I began to ball

As the nurse mentioned

A thought that hadn’t occurred

Even to me

That when I left that door

You would no longer be

And the conversation that we had

What little that it be

Rang through my head

So incredibly

And tears poured like rain

Down my face

I was so lost

I didn’t even get to say goodbye

And I wondered why

I didn’t spend more time

By your side

Because in just five seconds

I had made a choice

---

Mental health is a concept that we all deal with, but often it is stereotyped as an issue dealt with by only a select group of people. Due to this misconception, many people that deal with issues affecting their mental health may not open up about their struggles, leaving them without support.

The poetry that I have written deals with situations that many people have experienced, and these are situations that can affect a person’s emotional state. The Secret in Her Eyes reflects a true moment in my life where a woman came out to me, addressing the feelings that she had locked deep inside of her. Coming out, though more accepted today than it was fifteen years ago when I came out, is still a very difficult thing to deal with emotionally and the stigma put on those in the LGBTQQ community is still unacceptable.

Five Seconds is a piece that I wrote about losing a loved one. This poem is personal to me as it reflects a majority of the feelings that I felt the last time that I ever saw my grandmother. This situation changed my idea on the concept of time and made me realize how special every moment is, and the price that we pay for  time is exactly why I wrote More Importantly.  More Importantly is a piece reflecting how corporate jobs can make us forget and even miss the important moments with our families.

I hope that my writing will help bring people together and show how alike we all really are regardless of our differences, because in reality, in some way, we all share a common likeness as well.

Growing up in a small town, Nicole Higginbotham-Hogue spent a majority of her time reading and writing, so when she was granted the opportunity to write full-time, she didn’t have to think twice.

Since beginning her writing career, she has managed to pen several lesbian romances, while adding a little action and adventure to spice things up.

As a newly graduated MBA student, she plans to use her recently discovered free time to craft the art that she loves. For more information on Nicole’s new releases or to find out what she has been working on, sign-up for her newsletter at higginbothampublications.com.