Ally’s Party
CHARACTERS (All parts are played by adults)
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ no nonsense woman
MR BECKER uber cool guy teacher
ALLY queen bee, beauty of the school
KREE follower type, ethnic but blends into the scenery
CAMERON Ally’s most recent best friend and devoted bodyguard
GABRIELLA an insecure girl who only wants Ally’s acceptance.
INDIA airheaded, sycophant who wants to be Ally’s best friend
BRYN a punkish, artistic girl who befriends Kree and used to be Ally’s ex-best friend.
Ally’s Party
ACT ONE SCENE ONE
KREE
Looking back, I can easily admit: we were goons, girl goons, but goons, nonetheless, and, by goons, I mean no disrespect, no insult. I’m just stating the fact that we were stupid beyond stupidity and as a group we were a danger not just to ourselves but others…
(ALLY holds the nail polish she plans to wear on her birthday. She places the bright, stubby bottle against her skin, all while CAMERON, GABRIELLA, and KREE are preoccupied.)
GABRIELLA
That’s going to look great on you.
CAMERON
Perfect.
ALLY
This dress is from New York City.
GABRIELLA
Oh.
ALLY
Who do we have so far? Who’s next?
GABRIELLA
We left off at Chynna Banuelos.
CAMERON
Isn’t she that one who still plays baseball?
GABRIELLA
She’s on my brother’s team, Cameron.
ALLY
She’s adventurous.
CAMERON
Too adventurous.
ALLY
Girls who play those kinds of sports wish they were boys, and there will be no boys at my party.
GABRIELLA
Just the first half spa part, right, Ally? Real boys can come for the second part with the Karaoke and food. Girls come at four; boys, at five thirty. No one straddles the fence.
GABRIELLA
I can’t wait to see Syd there. He’s such a good singer and can he move, or what? Will there be dancing, Ally?
ALLY
Yeah. Next…
KREE
Jan’s a jock. She’s Ally’s cousin; she’s trained in tennis.
CAMERON
Yeah, but she’s not built like the Incredible Hulk, Cameron .
GABRIELLA
I’m skipping ahead, but is Jan invited?
ALLY
Yes, but stay in order.
GABRIELLA
(Gabriella’s eyes darted dutifully back to the page.) How about Bryn Norwood?
ALLY
Bryn Norwood.
CAMERON
What’s with her ‘I can’t force my face into a full smile’ look? What’s with her? Are her parents’ professors or something? She is always trying to show how smart she is. Who’s that woman she brought up in class the other day?
KREE
Eleanor Roosevelt.
ALLY
Why in the world would anyone want to quote that boring cow, Eleanor Roosevelt?
GABRIELLA
Yeah, it’s not like she ever did anything great with her life.
KREE
Somehow I missed that it’s National-Rag-on-Former–First-Ladies Day. Personally, I kind of liked what Bryn had recited in class. What was it– No one can make you feel inferior without your consent?
ALLY
Bryn’s so serious.
GABRIELLA
BRYN is so serious, Ally.
CAMERON
Byrn’s too serious.
ALLY
Painfully serious.
KREE
So I guess she’s going to the ‘no’ pile.
ALLY
That’s a no.
GABRIELLA
How about Mackenzie Thadoor?
ALLY
Is that the girl with the hair on her arms?
GABRIELLA
Yes, she has hair up and down her arms.
ALLY
No werewolves.
GABRIELLA
No werewolves.
KREE
Gabriella actually wrote that down. I think she secretly aspires to be a servant. I’ve never meet anyone who follows directions so closely.
ALLY
Though it is ironic…
GABRIELLA
Next is India.
ALLY
India…
CAMERON
India.
ALLY
India is out.
GABRIELLA
Out?
ALLY
That’s what I said.
GABRIELLA
Are you sure you don’t want to invite India?
ALLY
I’d rather invite Amy Winehouse.
GABRIELLA
Isn’t she dead?
ALLY
Exactly.
CAMERON
Who’s left on the list?
GABRIELLA
Michaela Thigpen.
(Gabriella is barely suppressing her laughter.)
CAMERON
Michaela Thigpen? Why even bother discussing her? She takes being an outcast to another level.
GABRIELLA
She does walk around like she’s out of it.
CAMERON
Way out of it. She walks around like she has autism.
GABRIELLA
Don’t you have to get that from a vaccine?
CAMERON
Maybe she sat on a public toilet seat.
KREE
Autism is nothing to joke about.
CAMERON
Relax, it was just a joke, Kree. I’m just trying to figure out what’s going on with Michaela?
GABRIELLA
It’s clear she has sensory problems.
ALLY
She’s mainstreamed. She’s fair game.
KREE
She is not on the autism spectrum.
CAMERON
I know, I know there’s nothing wrong with having that condition.
KREE
There’s a name for it. Neurodivergence.
ALLY
She is so thin.
CAMERON and GABRIELLA
Painfully thin.
CAMERON
Her family doesn’t feed her. You ever see what she brings to lunch; it’s like rationed. One cracker. One cube of cheese.
GABRIELLA
Why doesn’t she get on that lunch card program like the other poor kids in class do?
CAMERON
You mean like Mackenzie’s on.
GABRIELLA
Michaela’s folks are probably too lazy to fill out a lot of papers. You can tell don’t give a crap about her.
ALLY
She’s in.
GABRIELLA
Michaela Thigpen? At your party, Ally?
ALLY
Yes.
GABRIELLA
Really?
ALLY
Mark it so.
GABRIELLA
How will she get there?
CAMERON
Public transportation.
KREE
Said exactly like someone who’s never seen the inside of a city bus.
GABRIELLA
You really want Michaela at your party?
ALLY
No, I don’t. That’s why I’m inviting her.
GABRIELLA
You don’t want her at your party?
ALLY
Exactly.
KREE
Um…
ALLY
Oh, she’ll find out. I’m doing this out in the open. I’m going to give the invitations right in front of everyone.
GABRIELLA
Oh, snap.
ALLY
Yep.
KREE
You’re inviting Michaela as a joke?
(The question is soaked in running water and leaves drowned out.)
GABRIELLA
Ally, you are flipping brilliant.
CAMERON
It is genius.
KREE
But.
CAMERON
That little beast will be so happy someone rattled her cage.
KREE
She’s not a beast.
(Kree’s words are barely perceptible, as fear cut them short)
CAMERON
Ever notice how she wears the same pants twice or even three times in the same one week. She has no shame.
GABRIELLA
Maybe Michaela is trying to rock the grunge look.
CAMERON
Michaela’s hobo chic.
ACT ONE SCENE TWO
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ
What’s this I hear about a birthday party?
ALLY
I’m turning thirteen next Friday.
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ
What a milestone.
ALLY
Thank you.
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ
What’s this I hear about the distribution of these invitations during class?
ALLY
Mr. Becker allowed me.
MR BECKER
I – but–
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ
I hardly see where this is a good use of class time, Mr. Becker.
MR BECKER
Agreed. It will never happen again.
ALLY
Yes, I only have one birthday a year. Next year, I’ll be in another teacher’s class.
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ
You girls do know that a party is supposed to be a joyous occasion, not a time to stigmatize or exclude your classmates.
ALLY
That wasn’t my aim.
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ
Wasn’t it, Ally? Come, now; it’s not just one parent I’ve heard from. I don’t need to tell you that bullying is taken very seriously, and it won’t be tolerated.
ALLY
No bullying went on, Principal Alverez.
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ
Do you know that excluding people is a form of bullying?
ALLY
No, I wasn’t aware of that, but my answer doesn’t change. No bullying has taken place. I simply passed out invitations.
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ
During class time?
ALLY and MR BECKER
Yes.
MR BECKER
But it won’t happen again.
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ
How about you other girls? What do you have to say? Do you appreciate the severity?
GABRIELLA
Yes.
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ
What do you have to say? Nothing?
ALLY
Yes, nothing.
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ
How about you?
CAMERON
I agree with Ally.
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ
I see. How about you, Kree… You’re new to this school. These other girls have been here since kindergarten. What are your thoughts?
KREE
Me?
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ
Yes, you.
KREE
I don’t know.
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ
You don’t know?
ALLY
She has no idea. And I had no idea a party could cause such confusion.
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ
I find that hard to believe, Ally. In my family, there were seven of us. Times were always tight. My father relied on a trip sheet taxi to bring in money. That was his day job. By night, he was also a janitor.
ALLY
Did he enjoy doing those jobs?
MR BECKER
Ally.
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ
My mom cleaned houses, but I couldn’t see how they struggled when I was turning ten, or, was it eleven. I can’t remember; maybe I was turning thirteen like you, Ally. All I knew was that I wanted a big fancy party. It wasn’t enough and that they sent me to Catholic school. They came up with the tuition and the uniform and shiny black shoes. They tried to keep up with things, so I’d be just like the other girls. But it wasn’t enough. I made my parents pay for that party, even though I knew. I knew it was beyond them. I asked and asked and asked though I knew they couldn’t afford it. I was selfish. There were twenty-three people who were in my class, and I invited all twenty-three… You know how many people rsvped, None… You know how many people showed?
ALLY
None?
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ
Two. My classmates – the people I spent seven hours and one minute a day with — couldn’t they see? I just wanted to fit in. I thought if I took the leap and invited them, somehow they’d see fit to invite me to their events. So two came. Of course, I had cousins and brothers and sisters. They skated and filled in the empty spaces. They ate the pizza and even sang ‘Happy Birthday.’ At the end of it, I’d never felt so empty in my life. No more invitations during class time.
ALLY
Are we free to go?
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ
Yes, but, Ally–
ALLY
Yes…
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ
Happy Birthday, Ally.
ALLY
They all are.
ACT ONE SCENE THREE
(Mr. Becker takes off his glasses and folds them up, tucking them in his chest pocket. He stands before the class, summoning himself. )
MR BECKER
I stepped out of protocol yesterday after school, and I went to visit Michaela’s home. What I found was – What I found was…
ALLY
Surprise!
MR BECKER
Miss. Scholo, please. I’m in the middle of something important.
ALLY
I have a birthday once a year. That’s important too.
MR BECKER
And Michaela is trying to get to her next birthday.
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ (entering)
Ally, that is it.
ALLY
Excuse me.
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ
Let’s discuss this matter in the hall.
ALLY
It is my birthday.
MR BECKER
That is the point.
ALLY
So the majority must suffer because of the minority?
MR BECKER
I was just about to inform the class of Michaela’s condition.
ALLY
There’s no need. It’s none of our business. Mr. Becker.
MR BECKER
Yes, it is.
ALLY
If what you’re saying is true, then her family harmed her. Her family. They were the people who were supposed to take care of her. Not me and not them. We are children. Innocent. We were just her classmates.
MR BECKER
I wouldn’t expect you to feel guilty about it, Ally. I don’t expect you wouldn’t feel anything about any except boundless joy about your party.
ALLY
I’m just being practical, Mr. Becker. I went to a great deal of trouble. What can I do with this cake?
MR BECKER
Shove it -–
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ
— in a refrigerator. Ally, if you could step this way.
ALLY
In a moment. Am I supposed to worry about everything that happens in the whole world? I don’t see how one thing is connected to the other.
MR BECKER
Ally, I’m not asking you to care about the genocide in Darfur. I’m talking about a girl who sat five feet away for you, and all you can think about is cupcakes and sprinkles. Are you human?
ALLY
100%. How about yourself?
MR. BECKER
Ally —
PRINCIPAL ALVEREZ
Mr. Becker, this is highly inappropriate.
ALLY
I’ll say.
MR BECKER
You’ve gone too far.
ALLY
You’ve got this whole thing wrong, Mr. Becker. Did it ever occur to you that I wanted to have Michaela at my party? I saw her torn clothes, her unkempt hair. I was just trying to reach out to her. I wanted to include her. That’s why I invited her. Things aren’t always the worst, Mr. Becker. They aren’t. She seemed like she needed something nice done for her. So I did it.
MR BECKER
What?
ALLY
This whole thing has been a terrible misunderstanding… I expect a complete apology in writing.
KREE
You liar!
ALLY
I beg your pardon?
KREE
You just lied, everything out of your mouth.
CAMERON
Sure, blame Ally, all because she wants her party attendees to be clean, groomed, and smelling good —
ALLY
Like I told you, girls, Kree needs a little more time with things. That’s the way you chose to hear. It wasn’t a lie. Kree, I believe in charity… How else do you think you got on the invite list? The party is tonight, Kree; come, if you wish. But, if you don’t, trust me, you won’t be missed.
GABRIELLA and CAMERON
You don’t need this, Ally. It’s your birthday.
My statement on ‘mental health’ is that the more I learn about the mind, the more I learn I need to learn. In short, the mind is fragile and should be handled with care.
A. Whittenberg is the pen name for a writer originally from Columbia, SC, who has a global perspective. If she wasn’t an author she’d be a private detective or a jazz singer. She loves reading about history and true crime. Her other publications include Sweet Thang, Hollywood and Maine, Life is Fine, Tutored and The Sane Asylum.
Madwomen in the Attic 
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